Putin’s fight with Surkov

A Russian submarine took me from the beach in Scheveningen to the destroyer MS Ghost of Kursk, that brought me to the aircraft carrier Admiral Kuznetsov on the Atlantic. “I could take an plane from Schiphol to Moscow,” I suggested, but they put me on an intercontinental missile, and one half hour later the parachute landed me in Sotchi, where I was detailed to Vladimir Putin’s mansion.

Vladislav Surkov was yelling at him.

“You, bastard son of the Romanovs, you are not worthy of Mother Russia,” Surkov screamed at the top his voice.

The professional science fiction author and amateur demagogue was beyond control and was throwing all that he could find at the President of the Russian Federation.

(See the earlier weblog on Putin’s ancestral line.)

“I am a father. I have a son !” Vlad replied. “Your insults are worthless if you don’t see this elementary fact.”

“History dictates that we follow Barbara Tuchman on the Guns of August,” Surkov screamed. “The world is a stage. Try to remember your Shakespeare ! Only those stories work that refer to earlier stories that worked. We must repeat history if we want to write history. In 1914 the first World War started by a string of incompetent decisions. We can only succeed in our plans for world domination when we repeat those incompetent decisions. When we start our war on the Ukraine now in August then people in Europe will be terrified. When we wait another month then they will laugh. We must strike now !” 

Surkov yelled and pointed to the diagrams that he had hung on the walls.

“Yes, of course,” Putin replied, calmer than ever. “But I am a father now. I must take care of my son.”

Surkov launched himself at the President of the Russian Federation. Fortunately for world history, president Putin has a black belt, and the attack by the science fiction author and stage director was deflected efficiently.

Putin in a judo exercise

Putin in a judo exercise (source: screenshot youtube)

“So, what am I doing here ?” I managed to ask.

“My son needs a good education,”  Vlad said. “I am willing to postpone my war on the Ukraine till he has mastered arithmetic. So perhaps you have some suggestions.”

Vlad apparently had read this earlier weblog.


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