Serbia to the rescue ?

The heat on the Ukraine and Crimea is rising. A common sense commentary was by Tariq Ali (Guardian March 28) but it seems that many are losing their interest in common sense. It is curious that we are commemorating the origins of World War I and paving the way for events that future generations may need to commemorate – if those survive the potential nuclear onslaught. Indeed, at the Nuclear Security Summit in The Hague March 24-25 the Chinese communist leader Xi Jinping was welcome, regardless of the Tibet issue, while it was felt necessary to evict Russia from the G8. Can someone explain this folly ?

Perhaps the EU should embrace Serbia and launch it into the diplomatic first seat ? Perhaps Russia would be willing to listen to what Serbia has to say, if Serbia still thinks that joining up to the EU is a good idea, that is. Perhaps a theatrical re-enactment of the shooting of crown-prince Franz Ferdinand will help to get matters into focus, though Sarajevo is no city of Serbia anymore.

The heat is also rising in Holland. Historian / journalist Wierd Duk (pronounced as Weird Duck) published a small biography on Putin in which his macho image is emphasized. An issue in the book is also whether Putin’s parents are his true parents. See the macho book cover (“Street fighter (hooligan) threatens the world order“) and see the interview on national Dutch television. Publishers and writers need to sell and nothing sells as well as throwing oil onto fire.

Wierd Duk, “Putin”, book cover

Historian / journalist Wierd Duk comes across as an amateur. If you want to set things on fire, rather follow Marinus van der Lubbe and do it on a serious scale.

Since we are still close to April 1, let us look deeper into the issue whether Putin’s parents are his real ones. Indeed, wikipedia gives us the story of Vera Putina. Her story can be put in the proper historical context. A further search on the internet allows us to put the following story together.

When Kaiser Wilhelm II visited his English relatives, he preferred to travel via Flushing (google). One of the maids of service in Holland was Petronella van Haandel, a young and attractive lady, though she already had four children from colonial officer Van Peuthe. In 1904 Petronella remarried Franciscus Cornelis van der Lubbe, a travelling salesman. Marinus van der Lubbe is officially their son, but it can be assumed that actually Kaiser Wilhelm is his illegitimate father, from seeing his mother (again) on a train ride in 1908. At the end of World War I in 1918, Kaiser Wilhelm was evicted from Germany, and landed in The Netherlands again, now in the estate of Doorn. On the internet there survive films of him chopping wood.

When his mother had died in 1921, Marinus went visiting his father more often. At the early age of 17, Marinus met in Doorn with the beautiful Grand Duchess Kira Kirillova of Russia also 17 years. They had a passionate love affair, as youngsters can have, and soon Kira gave birth to a cute daughter Vera (“truth”). Kaiser Wilhelm was distressed, banned Marinus from his Doorn estate, and had his grandson Louis Ferdinand quickly marry Kira, while Vera was put into adoption by a Russian cook called Spiridon Ivanovich Putin.

In 1934 Marinus went to Berlin and set fire to the Reichstag, perhaps hoping to win back the love of his father. It is claimed that Marinus van der Lubbe was a communist but he actually said: “Kom, moe, nu is het !”, which may be translated as “Come, mom, now it is (for you).” Here we find an endearing picture of Kaiser Wilhelm and Kira making amends, since Kira now was happy that she was with Louis Ferdinand rather than Marinus.

In 1949 Vera came to visit her mother for Christmas and to everyone’s dismay Louis Ferdinand couldn’t control himself and impregnated her. Louis Ferdinand had always been envious of the Dutch flings by his grandfather with Petronella and by his father with Mata Hari and thus he regarded Vera not merely as his Christmas present but rather as his Dutch destiny. Their child was called Vladimir, after Kira’s brother Vladimir Kirillovich (1917-1992), who was the head of the Romanov family and heir to the Russian throne.

To resolve everyone’s embarrassment, Vera was married off to a Georgian soldier Giorgi Osepahvili. Young Vladimir was given a new birth year 1952 and attended school in Georgia 1959-1960, but was then dispatched to his “grandfather” Spiridon in Leningrad and subsequently adopted by his “uncle” Vladimir Spiridonovich Putin. The latter story now is the official biography of Vladimir Putin while his true mother Vera Putina has a horrible life in explaining to everyone what the actual truth is. Kira herself could not live with the disgrace and eventually committed suicide on an overdosis of sugar, and her last words were: “God forbid I should eat anything healthy!”

It may also be mentioned that Vladimir was a KGB-agent in Dresden, East Germany, in 1985-1990, and that the German government after the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989 put him onto a train back to Russia, with a couple of wagons loaded with gold to allow him to finance his ascendancy to power, in a replay of what Germany did with Lenin in 1917.

Vladimir Putin's family tree

Vladimir Putin’s family tree

Now, if the above is true, then Vladimir Putin is not only a bastard in the proper sense of being an illegitimate child but also the product of incest since, if you have been keeping track, Louis Ferdinand and Vera have the same grandfather, Kaiser Wilhelm II. Though Putin would have ample reason to be proud of his regal roots one can also understand why the Kremlin pushes for the official biography.

Just to be sure: above story is not in the Wierd Duk book. It is just an example of what politicians and historian / journalists can generate if they persist in their folly, even outside of the sacrosanct realm of April 1.

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